Drowning in Her ©️

You find me not at the beginning but in the middle, as though the air had been waiting and I had been in it all along.

I do not come forward—no, I remain, still as glass laid over the sea, and the sea moves beneath me in ways you cannot see.

I let your eyes rest where mine have chosen, let your breath fit into the shape of mine, slow, unmeasured, without start or finish.

Words, if they come, are soft as linen pulled through the fingers, each one without edges, spilling into the next until there is no place to stop.

You stand there, and the floor grows light under your feet, and the distance between us turns to water, and the water to nothing at all.

I will not take you quickly.

No, I will keep you here, in this weightless pause where your name matters less than the sound your pulse makes when it learns my rhythm.

When you turn, you will feel the shore is gone.

When you breathe, you will know the air belongs to me.

The Peacock Angel ©️

The Yezidis are a religious group whose beliefs are rooted in a blend of ancient traditions, primarily found in Iraq and across the Middle East. Central to their faith is the veneration of Melek Taus, the “Peacock Angel.” Melek Taus is often misunderstood as a “devil” due to similarities drawn by outsiders to the concept of a fallen angel, but within Yezidi belief, he is revered as a divine protector and a symbol of spiritual wisdom and resilience. Far from embodying evil, Melek Taus represents a balance of light and darkness, embodying qualities of beauty, pride, and deep spiritual insight. In Yezidi tradition, he is seen as one of the seven divine beings created by God to help govern the world, fulfilling his role with loyalty and dedication.

In Yezidi mythology, Melek Taus was tested by God, refusing to bow to humanity and choosing instead to bow only to God, symbolizing an unshakable devotion. Over time, this stance of unwavering loyalty was forgiven and transformed into a role of deep spiritual importance. Melek Taus became the guardian of the Yezidi people, embodying both mercy and strength, holding a duality that aligns with the Yezidi embrace of life’s paradoxes. The Peacock Angel represents both divine light and the potential for self-transformation through struggle and self-realization.

Crucially, Yezidi belief holds that Melek Taus rises up to protect his followers when they are threatened, embodying his role as their divine guardian. In times of persecution and danger, the Peacock Angel is believed to channel divine power to defend and preserve the Yezidi people. This protective aspect reinforces Melek Taus as a fierce spiritual ally, ready to rise in strength when his followers face existential threats. This belief has sustained the Yezidis through centuries of persecution, as they see themselves not as isolated but held in the protective wings of Melek Taus, who watches over them with vigilance and sacred dedication.

Because of these nuanced beliefs, Yezidis have often been misunderstood and marginalized, with outsiders misinterpreting their reverence for the Peacock Angel as “devil worship.” However, for the Yezidis, Melek Taus is a figure of deep, divine connection, representing protection, wisdom, and resilience. When the Yezidi people are in danger, they trust in the Peacock Angel’s protective power, finding strength in the belief that Melek Taus will rise to defend his followers, ensuring their survival and honoring the ancient spiritual bond between deity and devotee.