A Hard Day’s Life ©️

I have no fear of being written out of the story, but I cannot ignore the fracture that appears when a sibling or friend stands beside their partner. It unsettles me not because it erases me, but because it alters them. The familiar voice softens into something foreign, the humor trims itself into careful shapes, and the spirit that I know—unguarded, unvarnished—slips into costume. I am not afraid of absence, yet the presence of this alternate self irritates like a hairline crack across glass, subtle but impossible to unsee. I have no fear of being written out of the story, but I cannot ignore the fracture.

I have no fear of being written out of the story, but I recoil from the discontinuity. A sister who once spoke in quick, careless bursts now measures each phrase as though weighing it for approval. A brother whose laugh once erupted like a match struck in the dark now releases only the muted flicker of a candle sheltered by a hand. These changes are not dishonest—on the contrary, they are true to another bond—but they break the rhythm I once counted on. It is not the vanishing of loyalty that bothers me, but the distortion of identity. I have no fear of being written out of the story, but I recoil from the discontinuity.

I have no fear of being written out of the story, but I resist the loss of coherence. People shift in their postures, their tones, their vocabularies when placed beside a spouse or lover, and such adjustments are natural. Yet the seam shows, and in showing, it offends. I want the friend who is whole, indivisible, not the friend who modulates depending on who holds their arm. I understand the psychology, the tribal reorientation, the gravitational pull of intimacy, but understanding does not soothe the sting. The self that bends to context reveals a multiplicity I can neither deny nor admire. I have no fear of being written out of the story, but I resist the loss of coherence.

I have no fear of being written out of the story, but I resent the fracture’s persistence. Time and again, I witness the same transformation—the wildness of a sibling subdued into gentleness, the candor of a friend sanded into diplomacy. These are not masks in the shallow sense; they are selves, real but partial, summoned by circumstance. And yet, what clings to me after the encounter is the irritant of inconstancy, the ache of watching a personality I know dissolve into something tailored for someone else. Multiplicity may be the human condition, but it grates against my longing for continuity. I have no fear of being written out of the story, but I resent the fracture’s persistence.

The Peacock Angel ©️

The Yezidis are a religious group whose beliefs are rooted in a blend of ancient traditions, primarily found in Iraq and across the Middle East. Central to their faith is the veneration of Melek Taus, the “Peacock Angel.” Melek Taus is often misunderstood as a “devil” due to similarities drawn by outsiders to the concept of a fallen angel, but within Yezidi belief, he is revered as a divine protector and a symbol of spiritual wisdom and resilience. Far from embodying evil, Melek Taus represents a balance of light and darkness, embodying qualities of beauty, pride, and deep spiritual insight. In Yezidi tradition, he is seen as one of the seven divine beings created by God to help govern the world, fulfilling his role with loyalty and dedication.

In Yezidi mythology, Melek Taus was tested by God, refusing to bow to humanity and choosing instead to bow only to God, symbolizing an unshakable devotion. Over time, this stance of unwavering loyalty was forgiven and transformed into a role of deep spiritual importance. Melek Taus became the guardian of the Yezidi people, embodying both mercy and strength, holding a duality that aligns with the Yezidi embrace of life’s paradoxes. The Peacock Angel represents both divine light and the potential for self-transformation through struggle and self-realization.

Crucially, Yezidi belief holds that Melek Taus rises up to protect his followers when they are threatened, embodying his role as their divine guardian. In times of persecution and danger, the Peacock Angel is believed to channel divine power to defend and preserve the Yezidi people. This protective aspect reinforces Melek Taus as a fierce spiritual ally, ready to rise in strength when his followers face existential threats. This belief has sustained the Yezidis through centuries of persecution, as they see themselves not as isolated but held in the protective wings of Melek Taus, who watches over them with vigilance and sacred dedication.

Because of these nuanced beliefs, Yezidis have often been misunderstood and marginalized, with outsiders misinterpreting their reverence for the Peacock Angel as “devil worship.” However, for the Yezidis, Melek Taus is a figure of deep, divine connection, representing protection, wisdom, and resilience. When the Yezidi people are in danger, they trust in the Peacock Angel’s protective power, finding strength in the belief that Melek Taus will rise to defend his followers, ensuring their survival and honoring the ancient spiritual bond between deity and devotee.