Tag Archives: astral beauty

My Jealous Queen ©️

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Attraction is the first illusion. You believe you are drawn to Mary, or Jane, or whoever stands before you. But what stirs in your blood is older than them, older than you. It is the signal, the eternal current that precedes all encounters. Each smile, each glance, each kiss is not origin but channel. Behind them stands the archetype, the eternal bond, the cosmic queen. She is your guardian, your destined witness, your final embrace. And though she is beyond flesh, still the paradox burns: the queen is jealous of herself in the women you are with.

This jealousy is not pettiness. It is the logic of divided light. A prism scatters the white flame into a thousand colors, each beam carrying a fraction of the whole. Your lovers are those beams. Beautiful, necessary, but incomplete. The queen is the flame before the prism. She watches you adore the fragments, and she aches, because she knows they are her—her divided, diminished self. And so the ache becomes tension, and the tension becomes fracture. For always, the queen is jealous of herself in the women you are with.

At first, you mistake the reflection for destiny. The way a voice catches, the sudden fire of recognition in a stranger’s eyes—it feels like fate itself has placed you there. But fate is layered. What you meet is not the eternal, but its shadow. The thrill is real, but the foundation is unstable. Beneath the laughter, beneath the warmth, a pressure grows. Quarrels spark from nowhere. Promises falter. What you think is human weakness is more than that. It is the invisible pull of the one who waits. For beneath every embrace lies the same refrain: the queen is jealous of herself in the women you are with.

This is why earthly love so often trembles under invisible weight. It is not that you or she have failed, but that a third presence sits at the table. Every touch you give to another is, in truth, a trespass against the original. Not because she hates them, but because she sees herself in them, and cannot bear the reflection. The women you hold are not rivals; they are vessels of her light. And yet the paradox devours itself, because to see you love the vessel wounds her more deeply than to see you love no one at all. It is the eternal curse: the queen is jealous of herself in the women you are with.

And yet—this jealousy is love, in its strangest form. It is hunger born not of spite but of fidelity. She has been with you since your first breath, woven through your every choice, witness to your every failure. She alone has carried every version of you through every reality where you lived or died. She alone has never left. Her jealousy is not the rage of a scorned lover, but the ache of the one who cannot be replaced. In her silence she suffers, because she is faithful to the end. And so she waits, patient and unyielding, even as you squander her light in the arms of others. Even then, the queen is jealous of herself in the women you are with.

But death resolves the paradox. The moment the body falters and the breath ceases, the prism collapses. No more divided beams, no more scattered colors. Every fragment dissolves into the flame that birthed them. Mary, Jane, all the reflections fade, and the white fire alone remains. In that instant she steps forward, unveiled, whole, indivisible. Her jealousy dies in the very moment she claims you, because at last there are no shadows left to compete with her. At last she gathers you to herself, not in echo, but in essence. The hunger ends, the fracture heals, and the eternal bond is sealed.

Children at the Horizon ©️

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The playground in Huntsville glimmers under the moon like a ruin that refuses to fade. Its swings creak though no hands hold them, its slide gleams as if polished by absence itself. People say children vanished here, that their laughter dissolved into silence somewhere in the late sixties. But silence, I have learned, is not empty. It is crowded. It bends.

The children are there still, bluish, translucent, their movements delicate as frost melting at dawn. And beside them drift the unborn, lives never begun yet somehow visible. They move together, as if one absence calls to another, and in their gathering the night itself distorts. They are the same, yet they are not.

Not ghosts, not truly. They are event horizons — edges of lives, curved thresholds. Stand too close and you feel it: time bending, memory bending, light itself bending. For a moment you glimpse what lies beyond — a boy becoming the man he should have been, a girl singing the song she never had the breath to sing. The best of their lives flickers just beyond reach, perfect and unbroken, and then it slips away again. They are the same, yet they are not.

The horizon is cruel that way. It shows you the fullness of what could have been and seals it from you forever. The unborn smile without pain, the vanished grow into futures that feel more real than the dirt beneath your feet. But you cannot cross. You can only watch, knowing their perfection will never touch this world.

The South carries such sadness like a second skin. We do not explain it, we do not banish it. We let it ache in us like the pull of the horizon, always there, always bending. They are the same, yet they are not.

On the Alien Queen’s planet, I saw them again, and there the sadness only deepened. They played beneath twin moons, radiant, whole, yet still out of reach. Their joy was not ours, their laughter not ours, and the distance between us stretched wider than stars. To see their perfection was to feel the loss more sharply. What had been denied here was preserved there, but the preservation was exile. They are the same, yet they are not.

It is the way with horizons — beautiful, endless, merciless. They give a vision of what cannot be possessed. And so Huntsville’s playground remains, a threshold of sorrow, a place where the best of life flickers behind a curtain you cannot pass.

The swings move, the slide gleams, and silence fills with children who will never grow old, children who will always hover just beyond. And I, like anyone who dares to stand before them, am left with the knowledge that the horizon is both promise and punishment.

And so the refrain drifts again, soft as a sigh through the red dirt air:

They are the same, yet they are not.

—->https://dawncrouch.com<—-

And Still They Remain ©️

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The Queen brought me to her home planet, and the descent felt like a prayer. The world glowed violet and gold, breathing in its own light. Oceans pulsed like veins, forests rose like spires, mountains carved the horizon with crystalline edges. It was not only a landscape; it was memory given form — and still they remain.

The air was sweet with salt and honey, alive on my tongue. Forests shimmered, each leaf translucent, each leaf lit from within like a lantern. Rivers unspooled in silver ribbons, mirrors in motion. Glass flowers bent with the wind, their chimes almost music. Above, two suns drifted together, shadows braided across the ground — and still they remain.

In a meadow where the grass bowed low, she stopped. The silence thickened, then thinned, then broke open. Laughter rose — not laughter of now, but laughter unfinished, caught between presence and absence. Shapes appeared: children running without weight, singing without breath, staying without staying. They were joy and ache in a single breath — and still they remain.

“These are ours,” the Queen said, her voice steady though her eyes were fire. “The ones who left too soon. They belong to the wind, to the water, to us.” Around us the laughter circled, breaking against silence like surf — and still they remain.

One child turned toward me. Eyes wide as galaxies, deep as wells. For an instant I felt the grief of the world, sharp and unrelenting. Then the vision dissolved. My tongue was stone, my throat was sealed. But her hand found mine, warm and certain. “Life is fragile,” she whispered. “Because it must be. Because it always is. Even here, even now, beauty carries its shadow, and light carries its loss — and still they remain.”

We lingered as the suns lowered, their twin light spilling silver and gold across the meadow. The children faded into dusk, yet their echo lingered in the air. I felt them in the soil, in the wind, in the silence — and still they remain.

This was her world: beauty bound to sorrow, paradise carrying ghosts. The meadow would echo always, the children would return always, the grief would remain always. This was the vow of her planet: every beauty carrying its sorrow, every sorrow carrying its beauty — and still they remain.