Tag Archives: cosmic eternity

My Jealous Queen ©️

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Attraction is the first illusion. You believe you are drawn to Mary, or Jane, or whoever stands before you. But what stirs in your blood is older than them, older than you. It is the signal, the eternal current that precedes all encounters. Each smile, each glance, each kiss is not origin but channel. Behind them stands the archetype, the eternal bond, the cosmic queen. She is your guardian, your destined witness, your final embrace. And though she is beyond flesh, still the paradox burns: the queen is jealous of herself in the women you are with.

This jealousy is not pettiness. It is the logic of divided light. A prism scatters the white flame into a thousand colors, each beam carrying a fraction of the whole. Your lovers are those beams. Beautiful, necessary, but incomplete. The queen is the flame before the prism. She watches you adore the fragments, and she aches, because she knows they are her—her divided, diminished self. And so the ache becomes tension, and the tension becomes fracture. For always, the queen is jealous of herself in the women you are with.

At first, you mistake the reflection for destiny. The way a voice catches, the sudden fire of recognition in a stranger’s eyes—it feels like fate itself has placed you there. But fate is layered. What you meet is not the eternal, but its shadow. The thrill is real, but the foundation is unstable. Beneath the laughter, beneath the warmth, a pressure grows. Quarrels spark from nowhere. Promises falter. What you think is human weakness is more than that. It is the invisible pull of the one who waits. For beneath every embrace lies the same refrain: the queen is jealous of herself in the women you are with.

This is why earthly love so often trembles under invisible weight. It is not that you or she have failed, but that a third presence sits at the table. Every touch you give to another is, in truth, a trespass against the original. Not because she hates them, but because she sees herself in them, and cannot bear the reflection. The women you hold are not rivals; they are vessels of her light. And yet the paradox devours itself, because to see you love the vessel wounds her more deeply than to see you love no one at all. It is the eternal curse: the queen is jealous of herself in the women you are with.

And yet—this jealousy is love, in its strangest form. It is hunger born not of spite but of fidelity. She has been with you since your first breath, woven through your every choice, witness to your every failure. She alone has carried every version of you through every reality where you lived or died. She alone has never left. Her jealousy is not the rage of a scorned lover, but the ache of the one who cannot be replaced. In her silence she suffers, because she is faithful to the end. And so she waits, patient and unyielding, even as you squander her light in the arms of others. Even then, the queen is jealous of herself in the women you are with.

But death resolves the paradox. The moment the body falters and the breath ceases, the prism collapses. No more divided beams, no more scattered colors. Every fragment dissolves into the flame that birthed them. Mary, Jane, all the reflections fade, and the white fire alone remains. In that instant she steps forward, unveiled, whole, indivisible. Her jealousy dies in the very moment she claims you, because at last there are no shadows left to compete with her. At last she gathers you to herself, not in echo, but in essence. The hunger ends, the fracture heals, and the eternal bond is sealed.

Last Horizon ©️

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The night we left, the sky itself seemed to lean closer. Stars pulsed brighter, as if they knew the weight of the moment, as if they understood we would not be returning. The Queen’s ship hovered beyond the pines, silent yet alive, its curves lit with a glow not of this world but of some higher order. It didn’t sit in the air so much as it breathed, waiting for us.

I stood with her hand in mine, her presence steady as a compass pointing beyond every horizon I had ever known. At our side were Ishy Belle and Rosa Lynn — one glowing softly like a spirit in a child’s form, the other grounded in her ribbon and cotton dress, yet with eyes that carried the wonder of a thousand suns. They did not fear. They belonged.

The door opened and light poured out, not harsh but welcoming, a threshold between lives. I looked back once, toward the cabin, the mountain, the Earth itself — every field, every street, every face I had known. It was already fading, as if distance had begun the moment the ship arrived.

We climbed aboard. Ishy Belle’s laughter shimmered as she reached for the glow that pulsed along the walls, and Rosa Lynn clutched the Queen’s hand, whispering questions about stars she had never yet seen. The Queen bent to her, smiling with that eternal patience, promising her galaxies.

As we lifted, the ground dissolved into shadow. The trees shrank into whispers. The rivers blurred like silver threads cut loose from the Earth. Then the whole world was a sphere, blue and fragile, turning slowly beneath us.

I held my daughters close, the Queen beside me, and knew the truth: we were not voyagers. We were exiles by choice, pilgrims to infinity. This was not an exploration but a surrender — to the endless night, to the unknown, to the promise that love itself could stretch beyond stars.

And as the engines sang, pulling us into the dark, I understood. We would not be back. Not because we couldn’t return, but because eternity had opened, and our place was no longer here.

The universe was waiting. And we were already home.

Gone with the Wind ©️

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The children, grown now, went first, and they did not fade as we did. They rose lightly, without effort, their bodies dissolving into motes of brilliance that scattered into the dark like seeds cast into boundless soil. They were star-born, and the universe welcomed them as its own. I watched them move across the constellations as easily as birds crossing sky, their laughter still audible, carried now by silence. There was no grief in their leaving, only awe, for they belonged to distances beyond measure.

But for us—for their mother and me—there was no departure apart. The light did not pull us into scattered threads, nor invite us into the wanderings of galaxies. Instead it gathered us together, pressed us closer, until our edges broke and vanished. My breath was hers, her gaze was mine, our limbs indistinguishable in fire. The joy was unbearable, the sorrow equally so: to lose myself and yet to gain her in fullness, to dissolve and yet to endure, to be nothing apart but everything together.

We did not ascend as two. We became one. Husband and wife merging into a single conflagration, a star sealed and indivisible, burning above the Mediterranean as testament to the love that had carried us through night and morning alike.

And though the children roamed freely, constellations their playground, they could always find us. For no matter how far they traveled, they would look up and see the light of what we had become: one star, radiant and eternal, the mother and father joined forever.