Tag Archives: modern noir

Neon Mercy ©️

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I didn’t think I was going to do it—not really. I’d thought about it, maybe once or twice, late at night when everything felt heavier and the world just seemed… mean. Like it had its hand around my neck and was just waiting to squeeze a little harder.

But today, everything caught up to me. Rent’s late again. My manager cut my hours. I asked my mom for help and she didn’t even call me back. And I just sat there on my bed, staring at the cracked screen of my phone, wondering what I even had left to offer. And then, like… I don’t know, like something outside of me whispered it, the thought came back.

“You could.”

I didn’t even say it out loud. Just sat there, heart thudding, fingers numb. I told myself I was just curious. I mean, girls do it, right? I’ve seen the posts. I’ve read the threads. It’s not like I’d be the first. Not even the hundredth.

So I googled it. I looked at some ads. I didn’t even mean to go that far, but I did. They weren’t like I imagined—some of them looked normal. Cute even. Just girls trying to make it, same as me. I kept thinking: What if it’s just once? Just to catch up. Just to feel okay for a minute.

I didn’t feel okay though. My stomach was all twisted. I kept refreshing the screen, like maybe the feeling would go away. It didn’t. I made a profile. Chose a name that didn’t feel real. I couldn’t use my real one. That would make it too… true.

I stared at the “Post” button for almost twenty minutes. I was shaking. I kept hearing my dad’s voice in my head, how he used to say, “You’re better than all this mess.” But he’s not around anymore, and I don’t know if I believe that.

When the first message came in, I almost dropped the phone. He was older. Said he was “respectful.” Wanted to meet for an hour. Just talk, maybe more. Said he’d pay well.

And I said yes. I don’t know why. My fingers typed it before I could stop them. Then it was real. The world didn’t spin or anything—it just went quiet, like a pause in a song where the next note never comes.

Now I’m sitting on the edge of my bed, in a dress I used to wear to dates, and I feel… hollow. Not scared, not yet. Just weird. Like I’m floating just outside myself. I keep telling myself it’s just my body. Just for one night. I’m still me. I’ll still be me after.

But then I wonder—what if I’m not? What if something changes and I can’t ever go back to who I was before this night?

I wish someone would call me and tell me not to go. But no one will. So I’m going.

And I hope… I hope I come back the same.

The Quiet Between Heartbeats ©️

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They say if you sit still long enough in Moscow, the cold starts talking to you. Not in whispers—just the slow, cracking language of old bones breaking under history. I’d been there five days. Window facing east. Four floors up. Crosswind out of Saint Petersburg. The rifle case slept under the sink like a dog that knew its purpose. All I had to do was wait for the old tyrant to walk into the light.

I watched him every morning—same routine, same pair of gloves, same smirk like he knew the world was too spineless to stop him. I didn’t hate him. That’s what makes this kind of work possible. Hate makes your hands shake. I respected the efficiency, even admired the conviction. But a blade’s a blade, and this one had cut too deep, for too long.

I sipped stale coffee, black as the thoughts in my head. The file said 9:43 a.m. He’d step out for air like clockwork, believing in his own myth. Thinking the devil doesn’t get shot in daylight.

He wore the coat. The one the dissidents talked about in whispers. I could see the fur collar through the scope. Two guards. Useless. Just shapes in suits. I exhaled slow. The city was a whisper behind glass. I wasn’t there for revenge or revolution. I was there because some men don’t get to die of old age.

The crosshairs found his temple like it was always meant to be there. I’d rehearsed this moment ten thousand times. Breath in. Silence. Breath out. Stillness.

The trigger didn’t click. It sighed.

And just like that, the world had a new scar.

I zipped the case. Washed the cup. Stepped out into the crowd like I’d never existed. That’s the part no one understands—the kill is the quietest moment in your life. What comes after is noise.

And in that noise, somewhere deep in the pit of power, a ghost started walking.