You Beautiful Bastard ©️

I hate Bozeman.

I hate it like you hate the street corner you bled on, like you hate the room where she said she never loved you, like you hate the silence that followed. I hate it because Bozeman holds the ghost of who I was when I broke—utterly, completely, and publicly. You don’t forget pain like that. You don’t forgive a skyline that watched you fall apart.

I remember heartbreak so vivid it twisted the seasons. Betrayal so sharp it slit the hours in half. I was younger, dumber, and I believed in people too much. And in Bozeman, those people let me bleed. I hate the way the wind still smells like her hair in winter, and how the mountains seem to echo my worst mistakes. I hate the way every café and alleyway is haunted with flashbacks I didn’t invite.

But.

Even in the rubble, I found something sacred.

Each disaster became a badge. Every failure, a kind of scarred-over victory. When people saw a man falling apart, I was really being carved out into something newer. I learned to laugh again—darkly, crookedly—but genuinely. I learned what it means to survive, not in the poetic sense, but in the “get up and keep breathing even when you don’t want to” sense.

And Bozeman—damn Bozeman—gave me back my brother. Somewhere in the mess, through smoke and frost and silence, we found each other again. Maybe we were both ruined, maybe we were both trying to pretend we weren’t. But something about that city pulled us into the same room at the same time and said, Talk. And we did.

So yeah, I hate Bozeman. But hate is too simple a word.

It’s a wound that grew teeth. It’s pain that taught me how to rebuild. It’s a love letter I’d never write, but I keep tucked in my coat pocket anyway.

Bozeman didn’t kill me. It crowned me.

Model Citizen ©️

I wake up at 6:30 a.m. The smart curtain lifts automatically. The air smells like filtered nothing. The apartment is gray and silent, except for the soft voice from the government app reminding me to log my health status and submit my biometric check-in.

I do it. Of course I do it.

I put on my uniform—white blouse, black slacks, nothing expressive. No patterns. No freedom. I eat a protein bar issued by my employer. The taste is… efficient.

7:15 a.m. I scan my face at the gate of my apartment block. It logs my location. I’m on time. I’m always on time. The city smells like steel and digital steam. The buses run precisely. There is no music on board.

I arrive at my desk by 8:00 a.m. We are not allowed personal items. My computer boots up with the national welcome screen. My daily productivity score begins. I type reports. I answer monitored emails. I avoid saying anything that could be flagged.

At 12:00 p.m., I eat lunch in the assigned zone. Rice, cabbage, a small cut of protein. Nobody talks. Talking leads to questions. Questions are dangerous.

At 1:00 p.m., we return to our seats. The lights don’t change. Neither does the air. Sometimes I think about the mountains. I’ve never seen them. I’ve seen pictures of course—approved ones.

At 6:00 p.m., I shut down my station. I exit with the others. We all move like synchronized shadows. I don’t know if the woman next to me is happy. I don’t ask.

Back home. Chinese Communist Party controlled news plays automatically. I nod along. I scroll through the state-approved feed. I like one article about unity and economic stability. My account balance is updated with a minor social credit reward.

I brush my teeth. I sit on my bed. I stare at the wall for a few minutes.

Then I sleep.

Tomorrow will be the same.

Because sameness is safety.

And safety is what I’ve been taught to want.