Tag Archives: southern realism

The Wanton’s Lament ©️

Posted on by

I was born in a valley that never forgets a voice. Every cry, every prayer, every lie—it all settles into the folds of the mountain. My mama used to say, a woman’s heart ain’t her own till she’s too tired to use it, and I think she was right. I learned early that love and pain came from the same hand, that men could bruise you without meaning to and still say your name like it was a promise.

When I got pregnant the first time, I thought I’d finally found what women like me were built for: a man to stay, a child to hold, a place in a story bigger than my own. But he left, and the house filled up with ghosts of what could’ve been. The silence grew teeth. Meth found its way into my bloodstream like mercy disguised as lightning. It made me weightless, careless, quick. For a while, I believed I was flying. But meth don’t lift you—it digs. It hollows.

When they took my baby, I didn’t fight. The woman from the county had kind eyes, and that made it worse. She called me sweetheart as she buckled my daughter into a seat that wasn’t mine. I watched them drive away until the dust turned the road into smoke. After that, I didn’t need much of anything. Just a place to sleep, a way to stay numb, and enough money to make it to the next day. The men came, and I let them. It was easier that way. Call it survival, call it sin—it all paid the same.

But once—just once—there was a man who looked at me different. Not hungry, not pitying, just seeing. We didn’t talk much. He touched me like he was afraid I’d disappear, and for a few hours I believed I could start again. I let him all the way in because I wanted to keep a piece of that gentleness, something living. When he was gone by morning, I didn’t cry. I just lay there watching the light move across the ceiling, thinking maybe that was how love was meant to come for women like me—brief as a breath, gone before it could rot.

Now the nights stretch long and slow. I walk the edge of town where the neon hums and the road smells of rain and oil. I still see his eyes sometimes when I close mine, that quiet steadiness like he saw the woman I was when the mountain took me. I carry that look like a small ember in my chest. It don’t light the dark, but it keeps me from freezing all the way through.

Daylight at Alton ©️

Posted on by
Reply

It was noon, and the light was merciless. The Mississippi lay wide and silvery, barges moving as though they were hauling whole centuries behind them. I steered off the road, the tires grinding on gravel, and for a moment I thought the sun might burn straight through the glass. My eyes stung, though I couldn’t say if it was from the glare or from crying.

She was beside me, hair spilling with gold where the light caught it. And I kept thinking—this is the last time. No night to fold us into secrecy, no shadows to soften the edges. Just the pitiless glare of day, stripping everything bare. I reached for her, awkward, frantic, as though my hands could invent a language my mouth couldn’t find. The car was hot, the air thick. Sweat and tears blurred together until I couldn’t tell one from the other.

I knew then it wasn’t love. It was ruin. A final collision of skin against skin, as though we could press hard enough to turn back clocks, to stop the collapse. She tried to speak, but all I remember is the shape of her mouth, the silence of it. A goodbye too fragile to make a sound.

After, we sat still. Our breathing shallow, our eyes turned toward the river. The sunlight struck the water with such brilliance it seemed cruel. I wanted to leave. I wanted never to leave. The river went on. I did not.