Tag Archives: lost identity

This Isn’t a Police State ©️

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It was always dusk in the city, or maybe the sun had simply stopped bothering to rise—no one quite remembered. Time here didn’t tick so much as hum, low and wet, like the sound of an old refrigerator rotting in a ruined motel. The streetlights never went off. The shadows never left. You had to squint to see people’s faces, even when they were right in front of you. That’s how they liked it.

He woke up in a steel-walled unit designed for optimal docility. They used to call them apartments, once upon a time, when doors had hinges and windows opened. Now there was just the hiss of hydraulic locks, the blinking red light in the ceiling’s eye socket, and the pale, flickering glow of the propaganda mural bleeding across the wall—children holding flags, static creeping through their smiles.

The boy—no name, never one of those—brushed his teeth with a powder made from algae and bone ash. Tasted like death and salt. He didn’t mind. There were worse things. His father had once told him about fruit. Apples. He’d described them like dreams: red, crisp, alive. He died a week later in a “utility misalignment.” That’s how the morning bulletin phrased it.

Outside, the city breathed like an iron lung. Cars without drivers hissed down neon canals of tar. Patrolmen, faceless in mirror helmets, paced like wind-up toys with stun batons in their hands and prayers in their throats. The boy kept his head low and moved fast. Everyone walked like they were trying not to be seen by ghosts.

His job was at the Archive—a windowless, soundless tower in Sector Nine. Inside, he cleaned memory reels. Actual tape, glossy with the sweat of old history. The Archivists wore gloves and masks and never spoke above a whisper. They said the past was infectious.

He worked in silence, breathing through cloth, fingers trembling as he slid a reel into the incinerator—“JUNE 1984: UNAUTHORIZED ROMANTICISM.” He didn’t cry. He hadn’t cried since the last curfew riot, when they shot the air so full of sound it tore the sky open like tissue paper. He’d watched a girl fall in half. Her name was—no, not safe to remember.

At 3:07 PM, the fire alarms blared for precisely nine seconds. A test, they said. But he noticed the Archivist across from him flinch wrong—like he hadn’t known it was coming. That’s how you knew someone was about to disappear. The sound of not knowing.

After shift, he didn’t go home. Not yet. He walked the old line—where the subway used to run before it flooded with blood or data or both. Down there, things echoed differently. Rats with cyber-spines scurried past, their red eyes blinking Morse. And in a corner only he knew, behind a sheet of scrap metal, was a projector. Ancient. Illegal. Precious.

He powered it with a stolen battery from a city clock. It whirred like a dying animal, coughing light onto the crumbling wall. The film was broken, half-erased, but the faces that flickered across the cement were real. Laughing women. Men dancing with cigarettes. Kids running down streets with no sirens, no patrols. People living like they weren’t being watched.

He watched until the reel snapped. Watched until the ghosts went quiet.

Then he stood. And for just a second, in the dark, he whispered his name. Just once.

Not loud. Just enough to remember he still had one.

Outside, the city screamed again. Sirens this time.

They were coming.

And still—he did not run.

Vanishing Neighborhoods ©️

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After the Civil Rights Era, the great promise was unity—legal equality, dignity, a shared American identity. But what came instead, quietly and without headlines, was a split—a divergence within Black America that few dare to speak about openly: those who learned to operate within the evolving rules of polite, civil society, and those who remained—by circumstance, trauma, or choice—outside of it.

The first group emerged through fire—resilient, composed, often middle-class or aspirational working-class. These individuals cultivated the tools of social fluency: education, decorum, delay of gratification, discipline. They paid a price for it too—code-switching, masking pain, enduring slights in silence. But they played the long game. And many of them won. Or at least survived with dignity intact.

The second group, however, remained closer to the raw wound—those for whom systems never really reformed, neighborhoods never stabilized, schools never improved, trust never returned. They inherited not just poverty, but suspicion, generational fatigue, and a cultural narrative that valorized anger without direction. Their relationship with American norms became more adversarial, and more expressive—sometimes violently so.

This split is not about morality. It is about pathways—what doors opened for one group and stayed shut for another. But here’s the danger: the longer this divide goes unspoken, the more permanent it becomes. A bifurcated identity cannot thrive. One half cannot sustain the image of progress while the other is left to flail, ignored or blamed.

So yes—it is incumbent upon those who have found a way to stand tall within polite society to reach back, not with condescension, but with memory. Because those who made it only did so because someone reached for them once, too. And if the more stable half of Black America chooses safety over solidarity, assimilation over aid, silence over action—then the other half may be cast aside by a country that’s already growing cold toward the idea of uplift.

This is not a question of guilt. It’s a question of strategy. If a rising class forgets its origin, it becomes brittle, and ultimately vulnerable. The ones who made it need to become teachers, mentors, anchors—not just for the sake of the others, but for the sake of a unified Black future.

Because history doesn’t wait. And societies that fail to integrate their own split souls are swallowed by the silence of what could have been.