How to do the Oklahoma Two Step <not to be mistaken with it’s shitty cuzin’ the Texas Two Step///

Things you’ll need…

*Mandatory*:  a dance partner  inmycase  a honky tonk angel with only moral purposes in mind// inhercase a Marlboro man with a lasso as long as his <shut yo’ mouth>

*Optional but recommended*: cowboy boots chalked on the bottom////men—tight ass jeans *slim Wranglers* must pass the quarter test//pearl button shirt (trust me, she’ll figure it out)//a cowboy hat *summer-white straw…winter-black felt 10x) for tipping your partner *advanced*//women—just no skirts below the knees (trust me, he’ll figure it out) additional apparel, ladies choice of course* just remember dancing is foreplay afterall //a live country band <preferably with a fiddle player> or a jukebox//some fire in your blood (y’all both know what I’m talking about) @++i+uDe//the ability to count to +w0

*Optional: alcohol (my poison… Wild Turkey 101 with Budwesier chaser*advanced*) but not so much that ole Whiskey Dick pays you a visit later that nite//you might want to grab a bite on your way to the ranch eXpecially if you’re planning on shootin’ that Turkey <gobble,gobble>

Additional notes: 0nly dance with one that you came witH//if you follow these rules, you won’t make it out of the parking lot w/0 sharing at least 1 |n+im@Te moment ];-) , if you go looking for trouble, sho’ ’nuff somebody will accomodate

Choosing a h0nKy-t0Nk: that shit don’t matter, I’ve danced everywhere from Billy Bob’s in Fort Worth to Stovall’s in Pacific Missouri to some old juke in Vidalia Mississippi…my personal favorite Caravan Cattle Company in Tulsa, Oklahoma *I prefer a more intimate setting but try them all* >check it—http://honkytonkusa.net/

Dance Lessons <Oklahoma Two-Step 101!!!

Get out on the motherfuckin’ dance floor and take your inmycase honky-tonk angel which ya—>Stand with your feet together facing your partner—>Put your right hand on your partner’s waist—>put your left hand out to your side with your arm slightly bent and take your partner’s hand—>listen for the beat and away you go *quick note*<always keep your feet moving forward not side to side or you’ll be roadkill>—>ok so here’s the secret <drumroll> left<long>left<short>right<half&half> and repeat—> this will get you around that honky-tonk hardwood//feel free to spin, tip your hat to that special lady, slower…faster, keep your eyes open and you’ll start to pick up on the fun stuff, just stick to it and if y’all can keep your clothes on ’til last call $$$ next stop..the rodeo!!!

I was going to post a song for y’all to practice to but fact is, you can two-step to damn near anything so polish up your boots, shine those buckles, and get to dancin//