Court Transcript:
Judge: Bailiff, bring in the witness.
(The courtroom doors groan open. A tall figure in a perfectly tailored black suit strides in, eyes like burning coals, smirking as he takes the stand. The room feels a few degrees warmer. The bailiff hesitates before swearing him in.)
Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you—
Satan: Grinning —Myself?
Judge: Glaring Just answer “yes” or “no.”
Satan: Feigning disappointment Very well. Yes.
Prosecutor: State your name for the record.
Satan: I have so many. Lucifer, the Morning Star, Prince of Darkness, Father of Lies. But you may call me Satan. It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?
Prosecutor: You understand why you’re here today?
Satan: Oh, quite well. The prosecution intends to place the sins of mankind at my feet and call it justice. Please, let’s get on with it.
Prosecutor: The phrase “The devil made me do it” has been used countless times throughout history to justify crimes. Do you deny influencing these individuals?
Satan: Laughing Oh, you give me far too much credit. Humans need very little encouragement. I don’t make anyone do anything. I merely… suggest.
Prosecutor: You expect us to believe you bear no responsibility for the evil in the world?
Satan: Responsibility? No. Opportunity? Absolutely. I simply set the stage. People write their own scripts.
Prosecutor: Yet people claim to have felt your presence when they committed crimes.
Satan: Shrugs Guilt has a way of rewriting memory. It’s much easier to believe a monster was whispering in your ear than to admit the monster was always inside you.
Prosecutor: So, you’re saying people are inherently evil?
Satan: Leaning forward, smiling Not at all. People are hungry. They crave. They ache. For power, for love, for revenge, for pleasure. I merely… remind them how badly they want it.
Prosecutor: And what about possession? Demonic influence? Countless cases claim you or your followers took control of individuals.
Satan: Feigns offense Possession? How crude. If I took over their minds, where would the fun be? No, no—I prefer temptation. Possession is so… forceful. But desire? That’s an art.
Prosecutor: But you admit to tempting people into sin.
Satan: Smirks Ah, now that I won’t deny. But tell me, Counselor, when a man wants to steal, and I merely open the door—who really committed the crime?
Prosecutor: You are an enabler of evil.
Satan: Grinning wider And what does that make you, sir? The law exists not to stop sin, but to punish it. We both thrive on the darkness in men’s hearts. The only difference is—I’m honest about it.
Prosecutor: Do you feel any remorse?
Satan: Remorse? For what? Holding up a mirror? If you don’t like what you see, that’s hardly my fault.
Prosecutor: You turned angels against God. You tempted Eve in the Garden. You have orchestrated suffering beyond measure. You mean to tell this court you regret none of it?
Satan: Smirking On the contrary, Counselor—I regret nothing. If I had a second chance, I’d do it all over again.
Prosecutor: So you truly believe yourself innocent?
Satan: Leaning back, spreading his hands Oh no, not innocent. Never that. But guilty? No. I am merely the shadow cast by the fire of human desire. And shadows… well, shadows only exist when there’s something burning.
Prosecutor: No further questions.
(The courtroom falls silent. Somewhere in the back, a man shifts uncomfortably in his seat. The judge exhales, as if realizing she had been holding her breath. The devil smiles, waiting for the next question, the next accuser, the next soul to falter.)