Until Sunrise ©️

The canvas walls of the tipi breathed with the wind, swelling and collapsing like the lungs of some sleeping beast. Heat had settled inside long after the fire died, clinging to the air as if the desert refused to release the day. I sat cross-legged on the hides, shirt undone, the last curl of smoke rising from the cedar I’d crushed between my fingers an hour ago. Outside, the sand was cooling to silver.

I did not come here to pray. I do not pray. I simply stated the offer.

Three paths converged into one—clear enough, I thought, that a child could read it in the dust. If they wished unity, there it was. If they preferred their walls, they could keep them. I had no hunger for the outcome. I asked for no sign, no thunder, no dove or dream. Still, the desert night has a way of holding its breath, and a man notices the silence when the world pretends not to hear him.

A moth drifted near the lamp flame and thought better of it. I admired that. Even the smallest creature sensed boundaries. Humanity, by contrast, keeps rushing into fires and calling it devotion.

From the flap of the tipi I could see a lone star trembling above the ridge—just one—and it felt like the sky was testing how little it could offer without being empty. I leaned back on my elbows and listened for footsteps in the sand, for wings, for anything that would prove the message hadn’t evaporated on contact with the night air.

Nothing. Not even a coyote bothered to cry. If they choose silence, that is answer enough.

I am not here to beg belief from anyone. I am not here to argue with old books or old men clutching them. I laid the rope across the canyon; whether they walk it or fall is no concern of mine. The desert is honest—it kills or carries with no prejudice. I have always admired that.

I tipped my canteen to my lips. Warm water. Stale. Fitting.

They have until dawn, I suppose, if such things need a deadline. I didn’t set one. The sun will do it for me. If there is no reply—not in word, nor wind, nor the subtle shift the world makes when a truth is accepted—then the earth will keep what it has made. They will remain fused to soil and cycle, saints and skeptics alike, bound to a single world like cattle that never learned there were other fields beyond the fence.

Some call that hell. Some call it home. I do not call it anything. I merely observe the terms.

The tipi crackled as the night strained to cool it. I lay back fully, hands behind my head, staring up at the stitching where the poles crossed overhead—like the ribs of a giant that forgot it had died. If a sign comes, it will come. If it doesn’t, the world will go on as it has: small, circular, obedient to its own gravity.

People imagine the one who offers a path beyond must be fevered, desperate, trembling for them to choose the door. They misunderstand entirely.

I am not the gate. I am only the one who pointed to it. Whether they walk through or build another shrine to the threshold—it is all the same to me.

Still, the night is long, and I have nothing else to do. So I will wait, here, in the heat of this canvas womb, until the first edge of sunlight touches the sand. After that, the matter closes.

Not with rage. Not with sorrow. Only with the quiet certainty of a book that shuts when the story ends.

If they wish heaven, let them answer. If they choose earth, let them sleep.

Either way, I will not call out twice.